Just as this new season of Game of Thrones started, I’ve started to watch it for the first time. This week, as I completed my journey through the first season, a lot of friends on Facebook were mocking me all the time for some character I would like and get attached, not knowing that his end was always close. It seemed like veterans vs freshmen. I will not give up, my friends, I will continue watching Game of Thrones.
But before starting the second season, I thought it would be cool to make a summary of the season 1 for those who haven’t seen and don’t want to see:
It starts when a kid sees two siblings having sex. No big deal, right? Who never had sex with a sibling? But the siblings are the Royals, I don’t know. And when the boy is pushed from the top of the tower to die for what he saw, he decides to survive, oh boy why? humph! Children are a lot of work, aren’t them? Then the king will bother again with another children’s fight, and kill the other kid’s wolf. humph! I really wanted to have a paranormal wolf like that in my life. BUT GUYS: THIS IS A KIDS’ FITGH!!! My mother used not to pay any attention to it. But the Royals care.
Then there is a super young girl, in a really small body, And well, she has to marry a WONDERFUL 5 meters of man. OMG what a man! At first, he fucked badly, but then she teaches him, you know… everything sorted out.
There is a marvelous dwarf who, although not tall, we would go with him for a drink, all the girls would, for he speaks really well and would convince us.
There is a madwoman there who still breastfeeds her 20-year-old child (kidding: maybe 15), and the boy hangs on her shoulder wanting to eat. oh Man! Women, breastfeeding is beautiful, but right: there are limits! lol We won’t breastfeed anyone over 10, please.
Soon the king’s friend, BEST MAN OF THE WORLD, is about to lose his head because he has scruples, but not the new king: a mean psychopath boy, who ordered to cut off the head of the best man of the world. I’m not even going to say anything, I’m still in tears. RIP WONDERFUL BEST MAN OF THE WORLD.
Humph, I nearly forgot: there’s the mother, Catelyn, who… God! if she had a Facebook account, I’m sure she would embarrass her kids on the internet night and day with some awkward showing ups on threads. That’s all I have to say about her.
And in the end, the 5 meters of man dies? Like ok: he did turn into a little zombie after he’s survived some infected wound, but then the small girl kills him? GIRL!!! YOU ARE NOT PREPARED FOR BOYS OF REAL LIFE. If I was going to kill every man I had that suddenly got emotionally unavailable, I would have turned into a serial killer. He’s a bit zombie? yes! but not really different from all those emotionally distant men we all saw in our lives. And what do we do with them? We just keep the relationship, getting crazy day after day, for he doesn’t give us half of the loving he used to, we ask them what happened, they say !nothing, that it’s all in our mind”, all that gaslighting… IT’S NORMAL, KHALEESI, YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO KILL HIM!!! =(
Well, the small girl loses her son, her reign, everything, but gives birth to 3 beautiful and healthy dragon.
AND THAT’S HOW EUROPE WAS BORN